So good!!! I also have a temper that has been … an opportunity for growth. It’s cool seeing the echo of some of the things God has brought into you being similar to what he’s shown me - especially regarding identity.
Two other aspects that have been helpful for me are reading the Psalms and the Prophets (a lot) and learning how my anger echoes God. Specifically, I personally don’t get mad at individuals much, but systemic stuff and avoidable situations make me want to spit fire.
My of my favorite verses is “Be still! And to know that I am God.” Because it tends to be taught and read as though it is some peaceful and sweet thing, but when you read it in context, it is much more like a parent yelling at their kids to sit down and be quiet. “Cease striving! Quit fighting!” And we know that the anger of man does not achieve their righteousness of God, but I find that is more because we aren’t particularly good at holding the both and of love and anger in the same way that God can, rather than anger being some evil emotion. We have a way of directing anger at people and destroying them with it, rather than building with it.
The other thing that was helpful for me was learning when my other emotions were masquerading as anger. So a lot of times I wasn’t actually getting to the root of what was going on. I would feel sadness but express it as anger. I would feel fear but express it is anger. I would feel disappointment but express it as anger. Which then just led to a circle of trying to address anger that I wasn’t at all helpful for whatever was really going on. And I would end up right back in the same spot the next time around.
This was probably the single biggest game changer in my marriage, as I used to get mad at my husband for coming home late because I didn’t understand that I was angry because I was afraid that something had happened to him. We were able to address the fear Aspect, the anger wasn’t really an issue anymore. At least not for that particular situation.
Thank you for talking about anger. Mine has been bubbling up a lot more lately, and this has helped me too reevaluate. I think I just needed the reminder - thank you – that my identity is as beloved.
So good!!! I also have a temper that has been … an opportunity for growth. It’s cool seeing the echo of some of the things God has brought into you being similar to what he’s shown me - especially regarding identity.
Two other aspects that have been helpful for me are reading the Psalms and the Prophets (a lot) and learning how my anger echoes God. Specifically, I personally don’t get mad at individuals much, but systemic stuff and avoidable situations make me want to spit fire.
My of my favorite verses is “Be still! And to know that I am God.” Because it tends to be taught and read as though it is some peaceful and sweet thing, but when you read it in context, it is much more like a parent yelling at their kids to sit down and be quiet. “Cease striving! Quit fighting!” And we know that the anger of man does not achieve their righteousness of God, but I find that is more because we aren’t particularly good at holding the both and of love and anger in the same way that God can, rather than anger being some evil emotion. We have a way of directing anger at people and destroying them with it, rather than building with it.
The other thing that was helpful for me was learning when my other emotions were masquerading as anger. So a lot of times I wasn’t actually getting to the root of what was going on. I would feel sadness but express it as anger. I would feel fear but express it is anger. I would feel disappointment but express it as anger. Which then just led to a circle of trying to address anger that I wasn’t at all helpful for whatever was really going on. And I would end up right back in the same spot the next time around.
This was probably the single biggest game changer in my marriage, as I used to get mad at my husband for coming home late because I didn’t understand that I was angry because I was afraid that something had happened to him. We were able to address the fear Aspect, the anger wasn’t really an issue anymore. At least not for that particular situation.
Thank you for talking about anger. Mine has been bubbling up a lot more lately, and this has helped me too reevaluate. I think I just needed the reminder - thank you – that my identity is as beloved.