You Don't Belong To Your Church
You Belong Here
My normal commute to church takes me down this one road where I pass by a couple of churches before I arrive at the one I pastor at. And each time I go down this road, there it is … a sign on the front lawn of the church.
In big letters it reads: “YOU BELONG HERE”.
If you’re privy to the last decade of church advertisement, you’re familiar with this phrase. Maybe you have even seen this phrase at a local church in your town. Heck, maybe the church you attend even uses this phrase. The words, “You Belong Here” are either plastered on an A-Frame, hung on a banner, placed on an Instagram Story post, or whatever advertisement means your local church has chosen. It’s an attempt I appreciate from local churches because their intentions are to bring people in through their doors, addressing a fundamental need most people look for today: belonging. The reason for this type of advertisement? An issue that 80% of Americans are struggling with: isolation.1
Motivations According To Maslow
In what many people know as “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs,” belonging is the third tier of needs, just following safety and security. Many people understand Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs to be just that: things people need. However, this hierarchy of needs doesn’t simply address the needs of people, but rather, addresses the motivations and behavior of people. It’s not as simple as getting the need once, twice, or thrice and then moving up the next tier, but according to Abraham Maslow, these are the essential components to life that motivate people to go, move, and live their lives.
Anecdotally, I’ve had front row seats to seeing people commit to settling in a city, small town, or even a small college campus because they found belonging within their local church community. At times, it even seemed that “belongingness and love needs” were swapped with “safety needs” because people found a great local church to be a part of and they dove right in.
And yet … every time I pass by that sign on my Sunday commute, I can’t help but wonder if this is the right move by the Church.
Belonging, Tribalism, and The Corinthian Church
“Our greatest strengths are often our greatest weaknesses.” Or whatever the phrase is.
Call me a pessimist or a cynic, but I believe there is a “shadow side” to many things in this world and finding belonging in the local church is no exception. When people leave the church, it hurts. When we don’t find belonging in a church that claims to be a healthy and vibrant community, we feel betrayed. When belonging is used against us, it’s confusing and painful.
If you’re like me and you see the divided church landscape in America, I want to offer a suggestion that doesn’t necessarily go beyond the typical response of pointing our fingers to political, racial, and socio-economic causes. Instead, I’d like to suggest that perhaps it is the declaration that people can find belonging in our local churches. It’s the age-old case of great intentions leading toward unintentional harm. In this case, the idea of telling people they belong to the church has acted as an unintentional glue that makes our division sticky.
You’ve probably seen this unravel before your very eyes, literally in this order, especially in the last five years:
The pastor preaches what sounds like a socially/politically progressive or conservative message
It ruffles the feathers of at least 1/3 of the congregants
They end up leaving to go to the church down the street or across the city that is perceived as completely opposite of the one they just left … and they stay.
But what keeps them there? What’s “sticky” about that church? Is it simply the political and social messaging from the preacher? Is it the power of walking into an echo chamber and hearing the things we desire to hear, rather than what we need to hear? Of course these things play a role, but my theory is that psychologically, people find a sense of belonging in the church based on ideas and positions that go beyond that of Jesus Christ.
And it is this misplaced belonging that leads to tribalism.
It is this misplaced belonging that leads to seeing our fellow brother and sister in the same body of Christ as the other.
I wonder if we are divided in our local church communities not simply due to political or social leanings, but because we have told people they “belong to their church,” which inadvertently communicates, “you can’t belong to another church”, “you can’t participate in that other church’s event,” “give your time only to our church because you belong to us,” “your allegiance belongs to this church alone.” Again — good intentions, unintentional harm.
If this is the case, it wouldn’t be the first time this has happened in the Church.
In fact, it’s not even a modern day issue, but an issue the first century churches experienced. The Apostle Paul writes this to the Corinthian Church:
“For it has been reported to me about you, my brothers and sisters, by members of Chloe’s people, that there is rivalry among you. What I am saying is this: One of you says, “I belong to Paul,” or “I belong to Apollos,” or “I belong to Cephas,” or “I belong to Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in Paul’s name? I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, so that no one can say you were baptized in my name. I did, in fact, baptize the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I don’t recall if I baptized anyone else.” — 1 Corinthians 1:11-16, CSB
Replace “Paul,” “Apollos,” or “Cephas” with “First Baptist Church of Small Town,” “Christ The King,” and “Cornerstone,” and you’ll see what I mean.
(These are just random church names I thought of … by the way, can we get more creative church names in America please?)
The Apostle Paul was frustrated to see the people in the Church of Corinth claim to belong to these different teachers. He saw their attempts to claim a teacher as their own to be folly. And it was this type of folly bred rivalry.
Now that’s a word for the church in America today, because let’s be honest: I know you know of some churches that are at each other’s necks within your city.
Blame it on scarcity mentality, leadership insecurity, tribalism, or possessiveness, but when we tell people they belong to their local church, we are inevitably building a wall around them, restricting them from partaking in the beauty of a greater unified body of Christ.
Church Planting Woes?
It’s March 5th, which nearly marks the 1 year anniversary of gathering with some friends and asking the Lord to bless our church planting efforts as we began meeting under the name, “Kindred Church.” We’re a year in and as I look down the barrel of 2025, we are preparing to send off not just one, not just two, not even three, but potentially five people from our launch team to a new city — because of work or graduate school. Our launch team hovers around twenty people, meaning sending away five people is going to take us some time to recover from. It’s a bittersweet reality because I personally want our church plant to embrace the heart of a “sending church.” I just didn’t know it would come so soon. In full transparency, as much as I am excited for them, a part of me is also sad to see them go. However, I remind myself with what I’m about to share next…
They don’t belong to Kindred.
They never belonged to Kindred.
Or the church they were at beforehand.
Or the church they will be at next.
They belong to Jesus Christ.
As a pastor and church planter, these aren’t just words I’m telling myself to soothe my heart. These are words that allow me to shepherd and pastor people with open hands and also with an intentional heart and presence during their time here.
These aren’t just words I’m saying to add to an already non-committal culture we live in. These are words that allow me to empower anyone who steps into our church plant to commit fully, while allowing them to be blessed and sent out to a new church family with a clear conscience.
In fact, these words of “belonging to Christ” are not my words, but the words of the Apostle Paul:
“So let no one boast in human leaders, for everything is yours—whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come—everything is yours, and you belong to Christ, and Christ belongs to God.” — 1 Corinthians 3v21-23, CSB (emphasis added)
As I wrote before, I believe a mistake we’ve made in the American Church today is meeting the modern person’s need for belonging with the Church instead of Jesus Christ.
In our attempts to meet this need of belonging, we have pointed people to a beautiful, but incorrect place.
In our attempts to meet this need of belonging, we have provided the wrong supply, because humans can only satisfy the need to belong to a limited extent.
In our attempts to meet this need of belonging, we have told people they can find true belonging in the local church, rather than in Christ.
Don’t hear what I’m not saying — I’m not saying the Church is no longer needed.
We need the local church in the life of the Chris follower. More now than ever before. I’m not here to debate that.
What I am saying is perhaps we need to switch our messaging to the people in our communities from “You belong here” to “Be part of the local church” and “Belong to Christ” the One who can meet all of our needs — not just belongingness and love — because He is all sufficient and all providing.
Not Just Semantics
To some, the difference between “being a part of” the local church vs. “belonging” to the local church may be semantics.
But I believe the Apostle Paul saw what the difference of words and phrasing was doing to the hearts of the people in the Church of Corinth.
It was dividing them. Making rivals of one another based on who they followed. It was counteracting Jesus’ High Priestly Prayer of “May they be one as we are one.”2
As our country seemingly becomes more divided, I pray for the local church in America to go against the tides of this cultural moment. I pray that instead of people joining churches because they heard the church down the street is more progressive or “that church over there” is more conservative, or this pastor moved to this church and that pastor finally moved out of that church — we would see and acknowledge the call of the Christ follower is to belong to Christ and be a part of the local body of Christ filled with people who are different politically, socio-economically, racially, etc. For Christ’s resurrection power unifies all.
Perhaps this is a piece of the underlying shift we need to make as we seek to bring the plethora of isolated people into our churches, knowing they may be different than us across the board.
Because at the end of the day, we belong to Jesus Christ, who is Lord over all.
“May they all be one, as you, Father, are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us, so that the world may believe you sent me.” - John 17v21, CSB
Beautifully written!
I wonder if non-western communities are more “prone” to tribalism as it is deeply embedded in their culture? Much to ponder after reading this insightful post!
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼